motherhood

wow, i forgot to record the first tooth, which was about a week ago.
Right now N is sitting opposite me eating home baked cookies and saying, "I wish I had a Refresh button."  Today I had a massive cook-in:  I boiled up a week's worth of babyfood, baked cookies and made pumpkin and coconut curry for lunch.   It was a good antidote to the cold rainy weather.  We are forecast a week more of continuous rain and flooding.  Bernard is asleep in his cot.  I just got back from going out BY MYSELF to join Emma and friends to celebrate her birthday on Chicken Street.  We had a feast of barbecued chicken, followed by dancing in the street to The Only Way is Up.  I am in charge of putting the video on YouTube.  The motorbikes that went past called us, respectively, "crazy" and "drunk".
I've been wanting to write about Motherhood.  People keep asking me, "So what is motherhood like? Did it come naturally?"  The most general questions are the hardest and I tend to just talk from whatever mood I'm in at that moment.  I guess I was surprised how it didn't all come naturally, and how it has been quite hard, especially the physical act of holding a baby all day.  But now it's getting easier and easier, and baby is so much more responsive to us.  Watching Bernard develop and enjoying his bubbly company has become the most important part of it.  I suppose the hardest part right now is worrying if i am doing the right thing, eg. feeding and watering him correctly, talking to him and stimulating him enough, being strict or gentle enough etc.  I thought that would all come easily but it hasn't.