Sleep.... What's that again?

Whatever is bugging Bernard at the moment? he has been waking virtually every hour and been impossible to soothe. certainly, he is teething, but tooth 12 is through now and the canines are not much more than slight bumps. We tried, and failed, on the Pat Pats. Then we tried the Super nice Mummy technique, which meant B was able to doze while mummy sat up for hours soothing, or got wriggled on on the carpet. Now mummy's tired, and the super nice persona is gonna have to stay in the cupboard for a few days.
Wish me luck. This is the last trick in my book, and my book says it gets worse before it gets better.

Holiday day 3

Last night the Pat Pat policy came unstuck, as Bernard cried and cried, totally unable to get to sleep. My book on sleep warns against this policy as it is vEry difficult to be consistent in the middle of the night, and th is was true for me as I was at my wits' end after spending twenty minutes sooThing Bernard, hoping to get more sleep if he weren't screaming,Managing to get him to sleep, creeping out of the room, climbing under my warm duvet, only to have him wake up again five minutes later as i was dropping into a blissful slumber. That was the point at which I had run out of soothing resources, and i phoned Nicholas while he was at his mum's birthday dinner. "I can't go in to him," I said. We just talked for twenty minutes, and it calmed me down. However, Bernard continued to scream, making it a total of 1. Hour and 20 minutes th at time, and that was after a previous hour of screaming. He did not settle at all. I went in to him, finally summoning the energy, and he was asleep within a minute or two. I stayed, slipping into Nicholas' sleeping bag and lying on our wondrous checked carpet. A short while later Bernard was sleeping with me on the floor, and we got maybe 3 or 4 hours like that, till we woke at 7.30
So today Bernard was sleep deprived and behaved terribly badly all day. He managed lunch in two sittings beca use his attention span was affected, but for dinner he could only choke down a few olives, some pieces of cheese and a handful of raisins, throwing his pasta on the floor.
We went to Joma in the morning and met Preston, 3, who very kindly let Bernard play with his Tonka Trucks, but he really wanted them back so we had to leave in a hurry. We got a short nap and then I made a delicious minestrone soup. After that we went to the park, but Bernard mainly sat on my lap when we were there so I didn't see much point in staying long. He practically put himself to bed at 7, he was so exhausted.
Tonight I have no policy. lets just get as much sleep as possible. If I End up on his floor again, it doesn't matter. He must be teething, I guess.

holiday day 2

 i am  sitting on the floor with a bundle of sleeping baby on my lap.  last night was an ugly sleepless night again as i try to retrain b in his sleep routine.   i am trying a new policy i call the Pat Pat Policy.  Meaning,  I go in and cuddle him and settle him down,  pat him a few times and then leave.  i think it may be disastrously misguided.  Last night he woke at midnight, 2, 3, 4 and 4.40.  At midnight it took him 46 minutes to get back to sleep.  At 2, 3 and 4 he only took 1 minute or so - but he could not settle untill I went in for the cuddle.  After his cuddle at 4.40 he cried solidly for an hour till 5.50.  That is understandable for him as he cannot eat enough to last himself through the night, so always screams till rescued early in the morning. 
I am not sure what to do.  The wake times are more or less regular to the minute every night - he has what is known as a night waking habit.  So much so that I often wake before him.   That's very familiar from the days before I started weaning him at night.  What has changed is that he is finding it much more difficult to get back to sleep, and he is crying for hugely long periods without self-settling - in fact the crying seems to make him so hysterical that he cannot calm down without help.  On the other hand, if I try to stay with him until he sleeps, he often misbehaves and refuses even to lie down in my arms, let alone in the cot.  He used to have this problem but soothing him to sleep if he woke in the night did not cause problems, provided he could cry himself to sleep when going down for the night:  it was as if he had to learn how to self soothe but could apply the skill during the night.  Now this has come unstuck. 
Should I leave him and not go in for a cuddle - let him cry it out?  Or camp on  his bedroom floor and soothe him every time he wakes until morning?  Or keep on with the Pat Pat Policy?

Holiday day one

Tet in Hanoi this year. I went to the market as usual this morning but it is not a usual Saturday. Our nearest market backs onto the flower market, which is normally finishing business by 9 am but this morning it was ten times the normal size and spilling over into the roads, and humming with people. Lorries were parked up along the road to the market and there were piles of ice on the street. Long bundles of vegetation were being unloaded from carts. The fruit stalls were abnormal, too: selling Tet fruit for offerings and gifts. Pink pineapples. Pale papayas wh ich looked as if they had been grown in darkness, they were so delicate. Red apples polished to a shine. Inside the market, The stalls bore produce which had been carefully prepared for the day. Ginger had been scraped and scrubbed clean, onions had almost no skins and were half the normal size (the stallholders told me the farmers could not wait for them to grow and had knocked off early for Tet), everything clean, beautiful and twice the price. The old lady who sold me tomatoes for 25,000 a kilo said 'Vua ret, vua Tet.' Meaning, it's cold so nothing is growing, plus it's Tet, the season of price hikes, so expect me to double rip you off. The other veg lady didn't charge nearly so much.
Bernard has a cough and neither of us slept well last night. he also refused his nap today. So it is a good sleepless start to what was meant to be a week of concentrating on the sleep routine. However, I am optimistic. Also we have a number of friends here this year.
The sun came out this afternoon, and I honestly had forgotten what it felt like! We went to the baby parade and saw a lot of UNIS kids with their parents and grandparents, and very few Vietnamese kids. It is a very busy time of year in Vietnamese hiuseholds right now.

sleep

Last night baby slept through from 7.30pm till 3.30am!!!!   This is the longest he has ever slept, since before the night waking began at three months.  When he had colic before that, he would scream till 10 then sleep through till 6. 

I'm exhausted though, because as usual when he sleeps well I don't.  And it is the end of the school year and everyone is exhausted. 

Yesterday B and I went to the park and played football with a rather grumpy two-year old.  We then went home and Bernard ate liquidised vegetable stew.  (I know - he is back on the mush it seems.)  We had a brief and unhappy bathtime and then read Giraffes Can't Dance for the third time that day.

It's doggy doggy doggy at the moment.  It's the first thing he says in the morning and the nanny says he is still listening for dog barks in the neighbourhood as he drifts off for his nap.  He runs to the doggy picture as soon as he can in the morning.  The other thing is Beep Beep!  We're very excited about the remotes from the fan and the air conditioning, which do indeed beep when you press the buttons.  If you listen carefully in the video I just posted, you can hear Bernard at the beginning saying Doggy,  Woof Woof.

teethsleeptoads

bernard has been working on pushing out the top two teeth.   Nights are much better since I read Dr Marc Weissbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Baby.    Now, thanks to the strategies outlined in the book I have been cutting down on the night feeds and Bernard is much easier to get to sleep.   On the night of our farewell gig for Julianne Bernard slept right through while the babysitter was looking after him, i.e. from 8pm to 1am.  This is now pretty normal.  He still feeds at 1, at 4 and at 6 when we wake up.    When he wakes at other times  I tell him to be quiet and go to sleep without even getting up out of bed.  A LOT better than the two-hourly feeds we were used to till recently, and MUCh better than waking up to 20 times a night when he was younger and hungrier. 
he is very talkative and communicative now... even though his vocabulary seems to have shrunk since the spring break, back to Doggy and Woof Woof.   Today he and Aubrey had a little play at school, because I forgot my pump valve, and Aubrey was visiting mum anyway.  So Mindy and I both tried to feed in her room but it was far too exciting for either of them.  Aubrey is an excellent sound mimic, and does maa and growl, moo and roar expertly.  Bernard seemed to copy her roar and I can occasionally get him to roar like a lion these days.  He loves the lion on his little tee shirt and is always looking down at it when he wears it.
We went to the lakeside today and there was a puppy!  Bernard loved it but it played too hard and so he lost interest in it.  He liked watching the older boys Maxim and Arthur playing plastic golf... they were rather distracted by a toad they found jumping in the grass, though; it was a funny game to watch.

bathtime

I just had such a funny bathtime with the baby:  he tries to have a bath without actually getting wet: i.e. standing up, and bending down to play with his bath toys.  It's no trouble getting him in - actually it's hard to get his clothes off in time for him to dive in!  Then he barely gets his ankles wet as he plays standing up, and tries to bash his bath toys on the floor outside the bathtub, or tries to climb into the shower unit, or explore the icky drain...  getting him out of the bath is quite tricky but if I let him hold his bath toy for a bit it's okay; getting him dressed again is yet another challenge.  These days I lie him across my knees and pin his hips while I do the poppers up.  His thighs are so fat that this takes some doing.  Then we dance to the bedroom while he either screams or gurgles, read a story (sometimes) and then he feeds himself thirstily to sleep.

seven months is not my favourite

b is in Hilarity mood.  I couldn't keep him off the computer so I made a makeshift playpen in the living room out of blankets - of course he is now trying to crawl through the gap between the shelf and the glass in the coffee table. today we played chase...

that's as far as i got yesterday before i was called away.  it was   a bit optimistic trying to blog with bernard awake in the same room as me!!!

i am at the lowest point so far.  i feel so exhausted i'm dizzy half the time.  bernard is lovely and increasingly mobile but ... i don't know how to get him to sleep through the night.

last night and the previous night he ALSO was unable to go to sleep in the first place; we had an awful evening of screaming.  he fed to sleep and then sat up, and couldn't get back to sleep.  to be honest, I don't mind him waking a few times in the night.  i haven't slept through for 4 months.  if bernard wakes fewer than 3 times a night i am awake waiting for him to feed.  but it gets wearing.  i am tired now.

we are trying to build up solid food during the day but he is not really keen on food.  this evening i got home at 5.30, and fed him at six but it was too late: he barely swallowed a mouthful before spitting it all out and refusing point blank to take anything but a breastfeed followed by falling asleep.  this spells disaster now, as he has slowly been getting worse at night if he misses a meal.  if bernard doesn't get enough solids in the day, he now wakes up to 30 times a night ( i lose count).  there's no way i can follow any 'go to his cot, pat him, cover him and then go back to bed' advice when he wakes that often.  he is just in bed with us. 

and he's teething and has a cold.

moan over.  thanks for listening. hxxxx

cot antics

i have been non blogging bcos b is hard to get 2 slepp.  he is waking every 5-10 mins all evening after his bedtime feed, and we've been trying all sorts of tadtics and learning a lot. nothing helps, although if he spends time screaming he doesn't wake often - but then he's awake screaming.  we have decided to relax and concentrate on being really present with baby while we can - most people i spoke to at work about it said they didn't bother with strict routines, and nobody said they got it sussed by 4 months.  so he wakes up a lot - it's hardly naughtiness!  otherwise we are doing remarkably well:  there is a routine there already and baby feels happy and secure.  he is slooowly getting used to the cot.  and he is waking less in the night, maybe 3x.

solids

today i started baby on solids.  in my baby book it says to wait until 4 months (check) and the baby has doubled his birth weight (check).  the latest advice on the web is to wait until 6 regardless, but thereafter to watch for signs of readiness for food, eg. baby makes you feel guilty while eating as he looks on and makes chewing motions (check).. . they both say emphatically that baby's ability to sleep through the night is irrelevant.  however, b slept really well until recently. lately i have had to keep him in bed with me so he can snack at will wiyhout waking me too much.  it has been getting rapidly worse.  both mother and baby are tired and tetchy during the day.   last night he fed every hour which is worse than when he was a newborn when it was every three hours.  surely.... well, i guess when you're exhausted you'll try every avenue regardless of the WHO advice.

so, this evening b was treated to a runny paste which is either baby barley or baby buckwheat mixed with water and breastmilk, i'm not sure quite what the packet said because it was in russian.  i was wary of rice because i thought it might bung him up.  he seemed keen, althogh he got really frustrated trying to grab the spoon and bowl off me, and he made a variety of weird expressions as he licked and spat his first food.  predictably most of it went on his shirt.  still, at no point did he turn his head away; he just got annoyed with the spoon feeding process.